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September 02 Updates, Flange And YouTube.Well, it occurred to me that I hadn't been on here a while (and neither has anyone else for that matter!). Most of the traffic that might otherwise be directed my way tends to go through Sam/Jeep thanks to Flange Club. Flange Club as far as I am aware is still alive and well, and more importantly still actively engaged in its Flangetastic Mayhem. Despite the fact that Jeep and Richada and I are no longer living under the same roof, we are still engaged in regular correspondence, and there was going to be some sort of Flange-Related activity at the Reading Festival (i.e. some sort of Flag that would be visible on TV). Unfortunately I didn't have time as I'm now working full time at the university, and Sam 'n' Rich are just plain lazy. Ah well. Its the thought that counts.
I have now got myself a YouTube director account, so all the videos of our madness (some of it Flange-Related, most of it just Retarded) will soon be up there. That may even be the reason that you are here, wasting your time and braincells reading this after being linked from my account. The Kung-Fu video will be up there, along with the official Flange Club video, a "Mad World" Uni commemoration video, and some other good stuff too. Go check it out. Make a special boy happy :)
Excuse the naked link, I'm too tired for HTML at the moment.
That's all for now folks, it doesn't appear that I have a lot of time to throw around nowadays, but I'll swing by here from time to time (If anyone should be interested, I graduated with a First Degree and am now looking for a job, after that, a Masters). This is a good place to comment on the videos if you don't want to make a YouTube account, or just for general comments on me, the space, whatever, so please go ahead and jot down your thoughts. I feel pretty nostalgic writing another blog entry now, after leaving Uni, and all those good times behind, so I'm gunna go. Peace Out Homies.
FLANGE! March 31 C.A.M.P.ing It Up On EbaySo I was browsing the infinite archives of eBay, looking for some other soulless material possession that I desperately need in order to justify my existence, as you do, when I noticed something rather peculiar. As those of you closest to me know I have somewhat of a routine, and part of that routine is looking for such aforementioned items of burning desire on eBay, such as zoo guides, sealed copies of Halo and the like. One such item is Stouffer. Stouffer, for the inevitably uneducated deprived majority of moronic soap-watching cretins out there, is the blue rubber feline hand puppet sidekick of a certain Harry Hill. I wish to obtain such a puppet, and although these are available from The Harry Hill Merchandise Store, I have some funds kicking about in my Paypal account that I need to use. I say “need to” in the way that people “need” terminal diseases.
I tend to search for these “Objects of Desire” on a daily basis, one after another, and as I observed the other day, this appears to be having an effect on eBay. Essentially, as I gather from “socializing” with the masses, the majority of people have not heard of Sir Stouffer. As a result, it can be hypothesised that my daily searching must therefore account for a large proportion of “Stouffer Traffic” on eBay. This appears to be the case, as another regular search item of mine is “Xbox Halo Sealed”. Upon searching for “Stouffer”, this now appears under related searches on eBay, presumably due to the frequent nature of my own personal searches. I have created an artificial related items artefact!
As one of my housemates aptly put it, my repeated searchings have given a false projection of demand in a market that does not exist. eBay now assumes that people searching for Stouffer are also going to be searching for sealed copies of Halo for the Xbox. This appears as though it is all down to myself, and although these retail desires may not ring true for the majority of the population, they certainly do for me. Incidentally, the same phenomenon has also occurred regarding the search for “Zoo Guide”. It now lists “Stouffer” under the related items searches offered. These occurrances must be down to me..how many people do you know in the market for sealed copies of Halo, rubber blue hand puppets of cats, and old zoo guides?!
Speculation with my housemate continued, until the abrupt end upon formation of the acronym for the Creation of Artificial Market Projections.. or C.A.M.P.
So there you have it, C.A.M.P.ing it up on eBay.
March 09 I'm Old.You know you're old when you can’t understand a word of someone’s space.
It’s just a little frustrating when you cannot understand what is being written. Now I'm only 20, and I don’t consider myself old by any means (although as I can still remember when there was a grand total of only 6 DVDs on the shelves, so that probably makes me old to anyone born in the last 16 years) but I find some of these spaces totally incomprehensible.
How on earth can “4rm” mean from? Surely, if you must bastardise the English language with a notably extreme shortage of time on your hands, it’s easier to write “frm” than “4rm”. Not only is the “F” key comparatively nearer to the “R” and the “M” keys than the “4” key, thus saving 0.0000000000000000231 milliseconds of your life, but it would also save me 20 minutes attempting to decipher what should (and ultimately is bound to be) an easy-to-read, brainless page of drivel about how painful life is or how your rabbit died or your granddad has a cough or something..
So, maybe it’s not the case that I’m too old, maybe everyone else is retarded. Comments welcome. February 19 Kung Fu Video Finally Up! Lo' worthless peons
 Feeling proud o' myself today (for proud, read egotistical) so y'all are gunna have to excuse me
 In my superior awesometasticoness (which I gladly share with my housemates Rich and Sam) I have finally got the much-hyped Kung Fu Video up and running. As some of you know (as I never shut up) I have been attempting to upload the damn thing for nigh on a quarter of a year. Originally submitted to Break.com in December, the video is the results of 2 nights filming and a months editing. I managed to do it all with just windows movie maker, and windows sound recorder (and I'm sure some of you would say it looks it  )Well a while later I noticed break.com had revamped its site, so I assumed they had lost the video (because it's obviously too good to turn down
 ) so I resubmitted it. Thanks to their new 20mb cap on file uploads, i had to split the video in two, and also had to cut the credits some, which is a shame 'cos they were pretty funny (or at least I think so). Anywho, once again, nothing.Following some digging around last night it turns out break.com's new revamp included free hosting for members, with public contents hosted free. I presume that when you upload stuff it just hangs around until they get round to it and then they decide whether or not it's good enough to grace the main site. As it happens, this is where my Kung Fu Video now resides, no comments, no votes, no views. Break.com obviously believe that it is not worthy of mainpage viewing
 .So, do what is right and change that! Click Here To View (Don't forget to view in the right order
 )Please feel free to leave comments on the video page on Break.com and also here My Flashy New Guestbook
Also please vote on the video on the break.com link, if it gets voted on enough, the hope is it will make it to the main site!
Many thanks go out to my housemates/stars Rich (a.k.a. Colourful Ninja/Richi Takamine) and Sam (a.k.a. Evil Ninja/Jeep-San) for their awesome acting/stunt skills, along with everyone who attended the "test screenings" (you know who you are, you probably feel like you've just left a concentration camp)
. This was something of a baby for me. Although not literally. Babies are pretty loud, too loud for me. Rich is loud, but not in the same way.And of course many thanks to the master of them all, Mr Miyagi, Who inspired us all to waste so much of our study time in the pursuit of perfection. This film is for him. The song too, although I didn't make that.
That is all.
Phrankus. Flashy New GuestbookOk So I Fibbed, It's Not Flashy. It Is However A Guestbook, And It Is New.
If, Like The Squirrel, You Have No Agenda, Feel Free To Imortalise Yourself Within Its Pages.
February 16 Zoo Kok.Now I like animals. And I like them in many ways and for many reasons, but I can safely say that i don't like them in the way that a certain person (thanks to the relative anonimity of the internet, i have no idea who) likes them.
Thanks to the reffering address feature of MSN spaces, I was able to establish that an individual visited my space after searching for "zoo c.ock" on baidu.com. Seriously. Check it for yourself here!
And whilst I am highly amused by this, I kinda would rather not be on the first page of results for a search on "zoo c.ock". Also curious as to why its on such an obscure search engine. Also curious as to whether the individual in question was aware that MSN spaces logged a referral address
.Oddly enough, now thanks to the new "MSN Spaces : Nazi Oppression Edition" I cannot actually write c.ock without the dot. Lame. I Can't even write it as c.ock in the title, it won't let me publish it. FACIST PIGS!
Ah well, on with life.....
January 24 World's Lamest Entry. Wotcha aw. thought i'd be a clever Heap Of Coke and tickle and bite this random entry in aw sorts of dialects and accents. Porridge Knife is thumb-suckin' depressin' at the chuffin' moment ter be 'onest. this is the bloomin' third nickle and dime i've written this as msn is absolute tom Brad Pitt and insists on deletin' aahhht that ya tickle and bite that may take longer than 77.64 seconds. uni is gettin' me daahhhn, i'm gettin' nuffin' done Kathy Burke wise or aahhht else wise for that matter, and I seem ter be constantly la or Brahms and Liszt Frank Bough. I'm Uncle Dick of tryin' ter control various aspects of me Porridge Knife as it aw goes ter tom Brad Pitt eventually anyway, so whats the bleedin' thumb-suckin' point? I seem ter be constantly Cream Crackered, or Cilla Black, or behind, or doin' summit I shouldn't be. donald duck this.
Incidently foun' oyt oi'm wan eighth Oirish t'anks ter a bloody unfortunate incident in de 1920's. dis might explain me polar personality an' de fact dat scon are a paddy av extremes. de Oirish in me wants ter scrap, but de french in me jist wants ter run de feck away!
At the same time though one is jolly jolly to be english. one would rahthah be born here then anywhere else ohn the planet, although unfortunately it appeaaars that everyone else agrees and insists ohn trying to jolly move here. goddammit. and whats's with the recent increase in morbid obesity in the country? aaare we aspiring to be american? is fat trendy? noh. being morbidly obese is ah jolly disgrace. mustah some exercise for fucks sake. Heavens above! How smashing!
Scousers ay random. it would be quite boss ter be a scouser. only fe about five minutes dough. or'rite?
Burminum is 'un of the single most depressen places on earth. along with swindon. holy flamen cack swindon is depressen.
Gah. I'm Tired. So Very Tired.
Cats Don't Seem To Get Tired. January 15 ..Back From The Depths Of Hell..Swindon Is The Arsehole Of The World. Discuss.
Look At The Monkey. Look At The Silly Monkey. November 26 A Tragic Day...Mr Miyagi Is Dead!!
Pat Morita, the Japanese actor who gained fame and an Oscar nomination for his role as Mr. Miyagi in the endless Karate Kid series, died Thursday. Morita, whose first major role was that of Arnold Takahashi on Happy Days, began acting in 1967 (as "Oriental #1" in Thoroughly Modern Millie) and had worked steadily since The Karate Kid was released in 1985.
Morita was 73.
He will be sadly missed. A little bit of all of us was lost when this wonderful man left this world. The earth mourns its loss, and all in Heaven rejoice, as it is now undeniably full of splendour.
Oh yeah, and apparantly George Best died or something, i dunno.
November 10 UpdateHi, how are you Etc.
Well, Sam (my housemate for the uneducated) did his half term update, and Rich (another housemate for those who don't know me enough to deserve to know me at all) did his 3/5 term update, so maybe I should too. On the other hand, I can't be pissed so I'll just paste theirs here. Enjoy.
July 07 Holiday..Not much has been going on recently..less time for blogging cos im on holiday now, so in a way more has been going on..fed lil Michael recently (Camilla's new nephew, 3 months old) which was definately a life-affirming experience :)...He's so small! All hail captain cute!
*** Update*** Also, I Fell Down The Stairs, Went To Thorpe Park, And ..Erm..Got Heatstroke
***Update*** Got Heatstroke 4 More Times To Varying Degrees..Can't Afford To Pay The Rent Anymore, And Michael Has Had Explosive Poo To An Excessive Degree June 27 This One's For NikSpecial Shout Out To Nik Who Seems To Like Our Work Heres His Space
***News*** [Well Not Really]...My Space Just Went Public Another Awesome-o Entry From Sams BlogWell this is just a quick entry, been meaning to do a larger one sometime..maybe later today. Anyway this was on Sams blog, an seeing as most of the people on my contacts list don't know sam, one again I have copied his entry..simply because it had me in stiches Apologies for the swearing if it offends you, Sams fault "Last night I was also bored so I thought I'd settle down to watch This Is Spinal Tap. It had barely started when Rich came in, followed by Frank. I saw Rich holding the video camera, so I braced myself for them to do something. What I wasn't expecting was for Frank to whip out his shotgun, cock it, and SHOOT MY FUCKING LIGHTBULB!! The room went black and glass was showering everywhere - It scared the freakin' Bejeesus out of me. I shrieked like a woman and luckily it was all caught on videotape. Hooray! Apparently they'd been planning to do it for weeks so they were happy. Good for them. There then followed about ten minutes of picking glass up off the floor and the bed. I'm walking on tiptoes all the time now. Apparently the prank was 'worth it' though so I guess I can't complain. Goddamit. Next year's gonna be fun Root Beer Is AWESOME June 22 MSN Is Uber Lame.Great. Just lost that blog entry I spent a half an hour typing up. MSN SUCKS. S'pose I'll just retype it tomorrow. Wish MSN would mess up and erase some other peoples' spaces permanantly. Some of the people whos' spaces I've read should have their balls cut off because they're so dull [Not You Andrew]. I fear I may be turning into one of those people. Kingdom Hearts Is Such A Stupid Concept. Cats Are Cool June 14 Maybe Sams Not So Lame..XD just read Sams latest blog entry..thought I'd copy it here because it had me in floods of tears (of laughter "Flange!! I just spent the last week back in Horndean because I had to take my driving theory test in Portsmouth. It was kinda fun being at home again, although I got shot in the leg for staying too long. Bummer. In the train station on the way home I saw a pigeon with no feet - I called him Stumpy Joe. He swallowed three whole Smarties right by my feet, God bless his little stumpy feet. I passed my theory test. Mum bet Jila £10 that I wouldn't, and then paid her from a pot of money that she was gonna give to me anyway. Jila gave me back £5 as a reward, so I essentially lost out on a fiver for passing. That was fun. I spent the rest of the week eating, reading and pooping. It was fun-tastic. I'm now moving my stuff over to Frank and Rich's house, against my better judgement. Simon's bedsheets REALLY needed a wash, the house smells like a refugee camp, and apparently I can expect to find slugs in the bathroom and rat faeces in the kitchen. On top of that, I can expect to be occasionally shot with a BB gun and have my personal possessions thrown down the stairs. Also, Frank and Rich like to leave their turds unflushed so everyone else can appreciate their artistic merits, and I almost certainly will be farted on on a regular basis. Oh, and did I mention Graeme lives there too? My life is so retarded. I wish I was a pigeon." Maybe Sam isn't so lame after all <Sigh> In other news, Jackson acquitted on all counts of Molestory Action..More great proof that the great judicial system of ours [and by "ours" I mean humanity's, or the worlds or something] is of course totally infallible. Jurys suck. Or something. <Pfft> ***Update*** Lol this websites great, the page linked in particular..it gives me gayus
Right..Off to lectures.... June 12 Back To Work >_<Well its Sunday night and I'm going back to work tomorrow for another module "Biology of Spiders"..s'kinda lame going back to work but at least its a part 3 module out the way before I even start the year so that's nice I guess
..I'm hella tired..not gone to sleep this week before about 3 or 4, and always get woken up at 9 in the weekends..went to Camilla's today, but essentially arrived, went to sleep and left, which was a shame, but evidently I needed it
Week was pretty interesting, went up to campus twice in one day (the first at about one in the morning for a random walk/jig with Rich, and to do some filming) and the second to check my dissertation title -- I got the one that I wanted [Diversity Of Spiders] so its all good, but more interestingly saw a green woodpecker [Picus viridis] on campus..I think it was maybe nesting or something (I don't really know) but it seemed to be hanging around a particular area a lot, and walking around on the ground some..I dunno <shrug> http://www.rspb.org.uk/birds/guide/g/greenwoodpecker/index.asp
Watched Princess Mononoke, Troy, Monkeybone, and Once Upon A Time In Mexico over the weekend, Princess Mononoke was awesome, absolutely excellent Myself : lol well i can essentially guarantee you a film on a par, or worse than dracula 3000: monkeybone. Rich : ooo sounds good brendon frasier slips into a coma and goes into "nightmare land" I got the story from the advertnono..thats not all let me finish brendon frasier slips into a coma and goes into "nightmare land" where all the people in comas are.. umm... ok also in nightmare land are things from brendons nightmares they all watch other peoples nighmares in a big globe thing and they watch stand up comedy performed by monkeybone himself they also have a bar and fairground rides every now and again someone gets to wake up they are given an exit pass by one of the numerous grim reapers floating around brendon frasier wants to get back, to proposed to his girlfriend, so he steals an exit pass monkeybone steals it off him and inhabits his body he then begins marketing monkeybone dolls, which fart nightmare fluid developed by brendon frasiers girlfriends character prior to the coma incident the idea being this was a deal with the head nightmare land guy (a black half goat half man) to produce lots of good quality nightmares for the people of nightmaretown to enjoy monkeybone also gets it on with brendon frasers gf but wait! there's more brendon frasier is incarcerated in nightmare town with steven king, jack the ripper, and attila the hun WHAT!he is broken out by a cat woman who wants his babies he appeals his case to death (whoopi goldberg) who grants him an hour on earth he wakes up on an operating table finding himself in the body of a recently deceased gymnast whilst surgeons are rmoving his organs, which the gymnast had agreed to donate he duck tapes up the hole in his chest and runs out, closely pursued by the surgeons, who want the rest of his organs he stops off at home to pick up the engagement ring, and to tape a ruler to his neck, as the gymnast had broken it and, using his new found gymnast skills he gatecrashes a charity museum ceremony where monkeybone, in his body, is staging a musical number complete with pinyata full of nightmare-juice-farting monkeybone dolls he manages to convince his girlfriend he is him in a decomposing gymnasts body monkeybone realises the game is up and attempts to escape hanging on to a giant inflatable monkeybone balloon dead gymnast frasier jumps on the balloon too and they have an aerial battle, dead gymnast frasier shedding his internal organs left and right, which are picked up by the surgical crew, still in pursuit a police officer shoots the monkeybone balloon (ripping him an anus in a comical fashion) and the balloon farts off into the sky before plummeting to earth both monkeybone/brendon frasier and gymnanst/brendon frasier are killed again brendon frasier finds himself back in nightmare land, where whoopi asks how it all went with an "isnt that nice" look on her face brendon frasier is then kicked up the arse by death/whoopi goldburg after having monkeybone crammed in his ear he then flies through abraham lincolns mouth (which is the portal to the real world) is reunited with his love they kiss the screen goes cartooney and everyone rips off their skin to reveal monkeys underneath the end. umm..... oh dear god lol i dunno whats worse, the film, or the fact i spent quarter of an hour describing it that film sounds amazing yup Erm..MSN has now appeared to altered my formatting, which is lame, but I shall continue anyway..also went to Camilla's seminary graduation on Saturday, which was really nice, she gave a really amazing speech, touched a lot of people I think. On the way back we ate some Po Pourri or herbal tea mix or something, thinking it was just dried fruit. We worked it out about halfway through, but carried on eating anyway [The label was in German]
Sams finally moved in..he hasn't told small Rich yet lol, and Graeme doesn't know because he's still at home..lol he's gunna absolutely love this..Since Sams arrived he's already been grossed out by myself and some melted chocolate, become the first person to be shot by the SPAS (because he went home for so long), had both bottles of his sprite rolled down the stairs, and had his door taped up with parcel tape whilst he was inside. He also discovered the state of Simons sheets
Ah well..such is life
***UPDATE*** The Tea is making its appearance in a series of explosively smelly episodes ***MONDAY MORNING*** Its Still Coming June 09 Cats Are CoolThe Only Link You'll Ever Need
Im wasting my life >_<
Incidentally, You Know You're An Obsessive When.. You discover that you can use actual emoticons in your blog entries and you track back through them to replace your text emoticons with the nice, shiny, proper MSN ones....lame. Lemmiwinks!
Ok This Was Going To Be A Cool Little Embedded Shockwave Flash Thing Of A Lil Gerbil [Technically In This Case A Hamster].. My Pet, Lemmiwinks, But Because Microsoft Are A Bunch Of Oppressive Nazis, Embed Shockwave Players Aren't Allowed. So Unfortunately You'll Have To Make Do With Clicking On The Still Picture Above To Be Hurriedly Escorted Away To The Source Site To Play With This Little Chap. Try Feeding Him Or Putting Him In His Wheel!
Catata Fish of the stomach's cove
Catata Fish's riddle will soon be told.
Lemmiwinks has made it out the tale is nearly through...
June 08 Sam's So LameWell Sam passed his theory, much to the surprise of everyone it seems. He WAS going to move in with us for the last month, to make things a bit more interesting, but hardly seems worth it now..apparantly he has other things to do, and so won't be back until Sunday..It's not like he can actually drive around, so what he's gunna do is beyond me. Probably something gay. Sams lame. He says "I'm gunna go out Friday night or something..I have friends"..riiiiiiiiight.. You're not fooling anyone Sam Your closest friends must surely be a beanpole by the name of Olive Oyl, and a couple of sailors (a.k.a. seamen), one of which is a huge beardy bulk, and the other a disproportionately shaped individual who spouts tourettes-esqe phrases such as "Ug-ug-ug-ug-ug-ug-ug-ug-ug-ug I needs me spinach!". You're such a Jeep. June 07 The Birds Are Singing...Well for the second morning in a row I'm sitting here, writing my poor excuse for a blog, as the day gradually dawns outside. I get the distinct feeling that i should be doing something better with my time (like sleeping for instance)..I've spent the last several hours reading random spaces of other people i don't know. The most striking thing i have found is the sheer number of self indulgant whinging pubescents who take the attitude that life is hell and they have it worse then anybody, and how no one understands them. Honestly the melodramatic drivel them come out with is ridiculous, especially when its written in that retarted text shorthand. Townies, Chavs, and other such "social groups" -- Do the world a favour and go get sterilised. Surely no one has it worse than him : http://www.burstfilms.com/games/kitten.php Poor little chap. He doesnt look very happy about the current state of affairs. It's not surprising. One day I'll write a proper entry XD |
vvvvvv 
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)..so here it is 
] ... 
..It's nice to finally have a few more socials with the zoology crowd..kinda random, hardly knowing most of them for the entire first year 
....
Studio Ghibli and Mr Miyazaki are awesome..everyone go watch spirited away! Troy was once again pretty good viewing, OUATIM was again mediocre on a second viewing, nowhere near the standard of Desperado, was too confused, and monkeybone...well monkeybone was dire. The following was the MSN conversation I had with rich following my viewing..I think this says it all:
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