So I was browsing the infinite archives of eBay, looking for some other soulless material possession that I desperately need in order to justify my existence, as you do, when I noticed something rather peculiar. As those of you closest to me know I have somewhat of a routine, and part of that routine is looking for such aforementioned items of burning desire on eBay, such as zoo guides, sealed copies of Halo and the like. One such item is Stouffer. Stouffer, for the inevitably uneducated deprived majority of moronic soap-watching cretins out there, is the blue rubber feline hand puppet sidekick of a certain Harry Hill. I wish to obtain such a puppet, and although  these are available from The Harry Hill Merchandise Store, I have some funds kicking about in my Paypal account that I need to use. I say “need to” in the way that people “need” terminal diseases.

I tend to search for these “Objects of Desire” on a daily basis, one after another, and as I observed the other day, this appears to be having an effect on eBay. Essentially, as I gather from “socializing” with the masses, the majority of people have not heard of Sir Stouffer. As a result, it can be hypothesised that my daily searching must therefore account for a large proportion of “Stouffer Traffic” on eBay. This appears to be the case, as another regular search item of mine is “Xbox Halo Sealed”. Upon searching for “Stouffer”, this now appears under related searches on eBay, presumably due to the frequent nature of my own personal searches. I have created an artificial related items artefact!

As one of my housemates aptly put it, my repeated searchings have given a false projection of demand in a market that does not exist. eBay now assumes that people searching for Stouffer are also going to be searching for sealed copies of Halo for the Xbox. This appears as though it is all down to myself, and although these retail desires may not ring true for the majority of the population, they certainly do for me. Incidentally, the same phenomenon has also occurred regarding the search for “Zoo Guide”. It now lists “Stouffer” under the related items searches offered. These occurrances must be down to me..how many people do you know in the market for sealed copies of Halo, rubber blue hand puppets of cats, and old zoo guides?!

Speculation with my housemate continued, until the abrupt end upon formation of the acronym for the Creation of Artificial Market Projections.. or C.A.M.P.

So there you have it, C.A.M.P.ing it up on eBay.